Blog #508: How the Late Paul Lynde Demonstrates to Neurodivergents the Wrong Ways to Cope with Stress?

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In the 1960s and 1970s, Paul Lynde was wildly regarded as one of America’s finest comedians. With roles as Uncle Arthur on “Bewitched,” Harry McAfee in both the stage and film versions of “Bye, Bye, Birdie,” the voice of Templeton the Rat in “Charlotte’s Web” (1973) and as the center square on the game show “Hollywood Squares,” Paul had it all when it became to being described as the court jester of Hollywood.

However, with all the recognition he got as a comedian, Paul wanted something more, to be taken seriously as an actor just as much as a comedian. Unfortunately, the more he obsessed over trying to become a serious actor, the more he grew his vices to cope with that stress. The two main vices in Paul’s life were smoking and most of all, drinking.

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Paul Lynde as the Center Square on "Hollywood Squares" (1966-1981)

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Now, if you’ve known me for a long time, you will know that my dad held a high ranking executive job for 35 years and to cope with the pressures of the job amongst other things, he turned to alcohol and went from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde in a snap. Paul was the same way not because of the pressures of the job, but because he wasn’t get what he wanted.

Nowadays, you will see comedians play against their usual type of character. One example was the late Robin Williams who played a vengeful man in an episode of “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.” This role showed that Robin could do dramatic as well as comedic roles, but Paul never got that chance.

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Naturally, Paul’s vices caught up with him and he died of a massive heart attack at age 55 on January 13th, 1982. But if there is one lesson to come out of Paul Lynde’s tragic death was that there are other, if not, healthier ways to cope with our stresses and our struggles. For many years, I would turn to food as a self-medicated stress reliever and guess where that got me into…a fatty liver diagnosis that ended up as a wake up call. Most of the stress came from living with an alcoholic father, a nervous mother and an environment that I would have a hard time processing.

When Paul died, his heart was revealed to be that of an 85 year old man all from the dangerous coping skills he was taking. His death was a sign that the wrong coping skills can make your body age faster than it seems. It was the nature of the business that he was typecast as a comedian as hard as he tried to make Hollywood see otherwise. The truth of the matter is that sometimes we try to deny our destinies the best way we know how by masking or putting ourselves in cages.

In a way, Paul was kind of in a cage on “Hollywood Squares,” because as Dick Van Dyke (who also was an alcoholic himself) said in “Mary Poppins” (1964) that cages come in all shapes and sizes. In Paul’s case, his cage was a center square on a Tic-Tac-Toe game board. This would add fuel to his vices and had his feelings and desires to break out of comedy be taken seriously, then maybe he would have found better vices to cope.

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If I could use an animated example, the Daffy Duck cartoon “The Scarlet Pumpernickel” (1950) is essentially portrayed as a comedic actor trying to be more dramatic in his rolls. In the cartoon, Daffy tries to convince Jack L. Warner (JL in the short) that he can do drama as much as comedy but in the end, Jack L. Warner is unconvinced and views Daffy as a comedian above all else. Essentially, Daffy Duck was basically Paul Lynde in the cartoon: someone who will never be viewed as someone other than a comedian.

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What happens when we cannot control the prospect of stress eating as a coping mechanism

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But there is a way that the neurodivergent community can learn from somebody like Paul Lynde and that is that there are different ways to cope and smoking. There are plenty of us in the community who are constantly struggling with trying to cope with the pressures in their lives. Some are those who prefer to have unhealthy fast food like McDonald’s and Burger King to drown out their stresses. Some would much rather be like Paul and clock in more at the bar, drinking alcohol after alcohol or smoking nonstop until their lungs are black.

There are ways to use coping skills and amongst them is 4-7-8 breathing, listening to calming music, watching a funny show or movie, just to name a few. Had Paul learned those coping skills when he did, he probably would have lived far longer than 55 years old.

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As for Dick Van Dyke (again, also a recovering alcoholic), there is a television movie of his that is a clear demonstration as how a coping skill like alcohol can destroy both the abuser and those around him. The movie is called “The Morning After” (1974) and I will do a blog about it at some point in the future when I retouch on this issue.

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Catch you all later!!