Blog #486: The Importance of Commitment as a Neurodivergent Individual

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This is Paddington Bear…a bear born in Peru but emigrated to London, England to live a new life for himself. In order to survive, he needed to find work and while he does the job poorly, he does show one trait that a lot of us need to have in life…and that is commitment.

Commitment comes from many areas where we are signing away on something in order to achieve a specific goal according to what that something carries. The fact is that once you make a commitment, you have to honor that commitment as best as you can.

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Last night, the social group I ran down here in Boca Raton had their monthly outing to a mini golf course in Delray Beach. Towards the end, one of the members had a meltdown because he wanted to leave after playing his round of mini-golf, even though his friend wanted to stay to the end.

Taking a look at this situation, we see commitment in two different directions: you have one trying to stay committed to the very end and the other trying to break the commitment. Of course, that doesn’t mean in extreme or necessary circumstances that the commitment needs to be broken. The truth of the matter is that commitment isn’t always supposed to be final.

But, if there is an important commitment that needs to be honored, then you have to try hard, as hard as it is, to honor it. Once you make a commitment that holds importance to others, you have to honor that commitment for the sake of the others.

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However, one area that we tend to forget before making a commitment is whether or not we are willing to make it. If there is something that comes up that we want to do, we must make a decision of whether or not we want to make the commitment. In my line of work, there are plenty of opportunities to spread the word of my story and firsthand experience.

But with each opportunity, I have to sit down and think about how much I would get out of that particular commitment without even thinking so because I get so blinded by the fact that there is an opportunity in front of me.

This was perhaps demonstrated by the fact that the group member probably was so blinded by the excitement of the outing that he didn’t understand that the outing was going to be stressful and overstimulating for him. What he should have done was learn about the outing, then consider the pros and cons of the outing. Of course, the pros were that this was a social outing, he would get out of the house and have fun. The cons were that he would have to stay until the event was over and that there would be a lot of activity going on around him.

In this instance, the pros and cons were at a deadlock and the decision needed to go into overtime. Think of it as like overtime in a football game, where both sides need to play an extra quarter to break the tie. The winning team gets the ball first and then scores a game winning touchdown. However, if the receiving team only scores a field goal, then the team must defending the opponents from either tying on a field goal or scoring a game winning touchdown of their own.

The pros scored the field goal in overtime but then needed to stop the cons from scoring a tying field goal or game winning touchdown. The mind goes into overdrive and the individual gets overwhelmed and anxious. Although we didn’t know it at the time, the pros and cons were in overtime and fighting out how the story should progress.

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But getting back to the commitment topic, the best way to keep the pros and cons in check and free from causing stress and anxiety to the individual is to study the events in question before a commitment can be made. For neurodivergent individuals, this can be easier said than done and making commitments can be a chore in itself. Sometimes, there needs to be extra time to think about making a commitment and that time may take longer than usual.

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Catch you all later!!