Blog #249: Why “Father of the Bride” (1950) is a Good Visual Representation for Those on
- Jeffrey Snyder
- Jun 21, 2022
- 4 min read
As the COVID-19 pandemic wanes, there are many of us out there that are planning overdue events that had to be rescheduled because of the pandemic and among those are weddings. For those who are neurodiverse, weddings are a stressful, yet joyous moment in our lives that can result in being caught up in a perfect storm of drama and sensory overload.
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“I would just like to say a few words about weddings…” -Spencer Tracy as Stanley Banks in “Father of the Bride” (1950)
As someone who has been to 12 weddings in his lifetime, (11 in the US and 1 in the UK) and being involved in two of them, I can assure you that while weddings are joyous, it is not smooth sailing in any sense of the imagination.
The 1950 MGM film “Father of the Bride” clearly demonstrates that as we see how the wedding planning impacts an ordinary American family called the Banks’ ranging from the announcement of the engagement to the planning, to the rehearsal and finally the ceremony itself.
When my sister and brother-in-law were married in 2013 up in New Hampshire, I lived through a similar situation. At almost every turn, there was always going to be something that was just going to pop out at you and yet it impacted me because at the time, I wasn’t fully aware of my limits as a neurodiverse individual.
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When we see Spencer Tracy go through the process, he represents not just the parents of the bride and groom, but also, we the audience where its a neurodiverse or neurodivergent family member.
For one thing, Katherine “Kitten” Banks (played by Elizabeth Taylor) was just like my sister who wanted a wedding out in the country however in her case, she and her fiancé (played by Don Taylor) ended up being married in a church. They simply ended up being married in a church on account that they just accepted the fact that they didn’t live in the country.
Of course, my sister and brother-in-law didn’t want a church wedding because it was simply not their style. However, that results in those that wanted a church wedding to not attend at all.
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Leo Carroll as Mr. Massoula in “Father of the Bride” (1950)
Next, the movie teaches us about the importance of managing money through the costs of the wedding ceremony itself. Of course, all that falls on the parents of the bride more than the parents of the groom. One thing that a lot of couples fail to realize is that weddings, while they are the most important time in their lives, is also very costly on account of those who are paying for the event.
If there is one thing that I have tried to teach myself as a neurodiverse individual is that I can show compassion just as anyone. If I was in the shoes of someone who is getting married (to which I say that will never happen), I would definitely consider the feelings of those who are trying to make the special day in our lives happen. Sadly, there are plenty of couples who aren’t as considerate and don’t show compassion which is a shame.
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Finally, there is the matter of any sudden changes that are sometimes unavoidable that can affect the wedding. Take what is going on right now with the aviation industry. Flights are being delayed or cancelled left and right and among those who are attending weddings as a guest or as a member of the party itself.
In “Father of the Bride,” we see plenty of activities that don’t end up going according to plan such as the engagement announcement as an example where Spencer Tracy is kept in the kitchen serving drinks when he was supposed to give a speech announcing his daughter’s engagement.
Mr. Tringle (Melville Cooper) conducting the Wedding Rehearsal in “Father of the Bride” (1950)
Or another example is the wedding rehearsal scene where Don Taylor’s character doesn’t show up along with half of the wedding party.
The point here is that it’s not just how to avoid delays or malfunctions in the wedding, its how we react to them that can mean the difference as Spencer Tracy slumps down in the pew when all is said and done saying “Chaos. Absolute complete chaos.”
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Katherine “Kitten” Banks (Elizabeth Taylor), Stanley Banks (Spencer Tracy) and Mr. Tringle (Melville Cooper) in “Father of the Bride” (1950)
Now the point I am trying to make here is that the father of the bride can be someone who can be both neurodivergent or neurotypical. Watching a film like “Father of the Bride” (1950) can give neurodiverse families an idea of what is to come in the days and weeks ahead leading up to the wedding.
As I have stated time after time, getting advanced notice on something is crucial and if the neurodiverse individual who is getting married or is part of a wedding or who is even simply attending a wedding wants to get an idea of what they are about to experience, then this is the movie to watch.
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Catch you all later!!
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